lunes, marzo 28
sábado, febrero 5
Mix of lost posts:
Today:
One day, there was a blossom day.
I thought of many things.
It wasn't about me...
No wonders, just hope.
1/25/11:
I found my self in a lonely place, where I could hear my thoughts again.
9/25/10:
3/30/10:
One day, there was a blossom day.
I thought of many things.
It wasn't about me...
I don't like you, I guess...
Don't know why I put my self into test.
Word by word, minute by minute; wouldn't know what to answer.No wonders, just hope.
1/25/11:
I found my self in a lonely place, where I could hear my thoughts again.
9/25/10:
It was all about survival,
How long? How much?
She was looking through the foggy window with the jar on her hands,
the floors were clean, the sweater was warm and the [...]
6/21/10
How is it when you start feeling the low?...
Cause tonight it feels like the fighting doesn't do anymore,
I'm not anxy or inspired...
The tears are not coming out, and still I feel like the air is not coming.
Too much sadness I guess.
3/30/10:
Esta noche, quiero llorar mucho.
Llorar hasta que el cuerpo se canse y los musculos faciales ya no sientan más.
Las contracciones y emociones se pierdan en un llanto eterno donde tan solo al final queden las lagrimas corriendo en una mirada perdida hacia la pared.
Esta noche, he caido en cuenta como mi persona ha decaido.
Como deje de ser yo.
Como me pesa haber dejado ir a esa niña que ha convertido su vida en todo un enredo de emociones y situaciones en las que solo nada en su cabeza sin saber como externar [...]
2/15/10:
I forgot how to love,
I forgot how it feels like to have that press on your chest.
I forgot how my heart beat and keeps asking for more.
There's something in the air...
there's something weak that doesn't lets me jump all the way.
Because I'm sure how I feel, I'm not denying it!
But there's something in your words.
The breath, the tense, the spell...
I WANT TO FEEL IT!
2/15/10:
The wind feels right up, in the top of the hill.
9/16/09:
Wow, I just can't put it in words.
Unimaginable, impossible to happen.
Never thought of it,
and it's so damn delicious!
Delicate.
Rising morning, not sleepy,
so exciting, kinky some of the times.
Can't believe it! So good to be true.
miércoles, diciembre 29
Por tres años rotos
Y esta fecha siempre traerá memorias pasadas; memorias que se guardan en ese lugar al que nadie se atreve a llegar, que jamás salen en una conversación casual, ni cuando las luces bajan ni cuando se escuchan los segundos en el reloj.
Chocando nuestras tazas de cafe y té, hago un brindis por no poder haber cumplido ninguno de estos días, las promesas pasadas y las lágrimas derramadas se quedan de nuevo en el año que pasa; que apropiado a de sonar con el año nuevo por venir.
No quiero repetir, escuchar ni sentir lo que alguna vez hice a tu lado, es como el río viejo y mohoso que solo quiere correr con la misma fuerza con la que lo hacía cuando las corrientes estaban cargadas de agua y estruendo resonaba en las montañas... pero que recuerdos aquellos.
Este día cariño, este día.... tu sabes que en mi mente estarás, y todo lo que alguna ves que te quise decir, se quedó en el aire o acurrucado en mi garganta. Siempre es grato, y siempre funciona, por lo cual es una de las razones por las que nisiquiera lo quiero intentar, la historia debe de quedarse así, como un relato que suena a dulce pecado, para ya no escribir extensiones del mismo.
Y ya no me cuesta trabajo admitirlo, sigo siendo la misma, tres años de sorprenderme por aquel sentimiento que quedo igual desde entonces. Porque siempre seras el misterio de mi vida, y espero algun día encontrarte y que tan solo nuestros ojos se reconozcan para luego desviar las miradas y seguir con nuestras vidas; y asi de dramático suena, por que así lo es, así fue...
Es algo más, que nisiquiera nombre existe para clasificar, si me permites confesar: Nunca toque fondo, siempre espere quedarnos juntas y la esperanza reside al final.
Sigue siendo especial, tal vez el lazo o las memorias, o tal ves en otras dimensiones, el tiempo presente se siente tan apresurado que nisiquiera me deja recordarte cuando preparo el desayuno. Pero en fin, dos veces es más que suficiente para saber que no se puede evitar lo inevitable, y por que decidida estas, y determinada estoy, para entender que tu y yo jamás se repetirá en ningún sentido... pero nunca dejaré de estar agradecida, por una personita soy lo que soy y viví la experiencia de mi vida; casi increíble, pero me encanta presumir de ello.
Tantas canciones, tantos versos, tantos susurros, expresiones, miradas y cariños que vienen a mi cabeza. La sonrisa que nacía, las ganas de quedarse, detener el tiempo y tan solo estar a la expectativa. Por que hermoso fue, y la pena queda corto para decir cuánto valió la pena; cuando mis ojos se inundan al pronunciar tu nombre o tu recuerdo me abruma en mis momentos reflexivos.
Deseando por un final alternativo, tratando de mantenerme en algo real, tu ya no estas. Jamás me perderás, si es lo que temes, por que el lazo siempre estará, entonces perderé el tiempo en una espera ingrata.
Y aquel raro diciembre donde toda esta odisea comenzó, no había otra opción, no lo pudimos resistir, y nunca me arrepentí. Y heme aquí repitiendo la misma canción para hablar de ti, para ya no volver a hacerlo, y despedirme como lo hice ayer: Buenas noches... pequeña, sabes que mi amor y cariño están contigo y que me mata saber que ya no será igual, parece que switch para ti sí funciono.
Y ya no he de citar los viejos tiempos, por que tanto como tu como yo, queremos dejar esto atras para jamás volver. Sin pretensiones ni malos tratos, la verdad ya todos la sabemos.
Por siempre veintinueve, te amo nena.
Chocando nuestras tazas de cafe y té, hago un brindis por no poder haber cumplido ninguno de estos días, las promesas pasadas y las lágrimas derramadas se quedan de nuevo en el año que pasa; que apropiado a de sonar con el año nuevo por venir.
No quiero repetir, escuchar ni sentir lo que alguna vez hice a tu lado, es como el río viejo y mohoso que solo quiere correr con la misma fuerza con la que lo hacía cuando las corrientes estaban cargadas de agua y estruendo resonaba en las montañas... pero que recuerdos aquellos.
Este día cariño, este día.... tu sabes que en mi mente estarás, y todo lo que alguna ves que te quise decir, se quedó en el aire o acurrucado en mi garganta. Siempre es grato, y siempre funciona, por lo cual es una de las razones por las que nisiquiera lo quiero intentar, la historia debe de quedarse así, como un relato que suena a dulce pecado, para ya no escribir extensiones del mismo.
Y ya no me cuesta trabajo admitirlo, sigo siendo la misma, tres años de sorprenderme por aquel sentimiento que quedo igual desde entonces. Porque siempre seras el misterio de mi vida, y espero algun día encontrarte y que tan solo nuestros ojos se reconozcan para luego desviar las miradas y seguir con nuestras vidas; y asi de dramático suena, por que así lo es, así fue...
Es algo más, que nisiquiera nombre existe para clasificar, si me permites confesar: Nunca toque fondo, siempre espere quedarnos juntas y la esperanza reside al final.
Sigue siendo especial, tal vez el lazo o las memorias, o tal ves en otras dimensiones, el tiempo presente se siente tan apresurado que nisiquiera me deja recordarte cuando preparo el desayuno. Pero en fin, dos veces es más que suficiente para saber que no se puede evitar lo inevitable, y por que decidida estas, y determinada estoy, para entender que tu y yo jamás se repetirá en ningún sentido... pero nunca dejaré de estar agradecida, por una personita soy lo que soy y viví la experiencia de mi vida; casi increíble, pero me encanta presumir de ello.
Tantas canciones, tantos versos, tantos susurros, expresiones, miradas y cariños que vienen a mi cabeza. La sonrisa que nacía, las ganas de quedarse, detener el tiempo y tan solo estar a la expectativa. Por que hermoso fue, y la pena queda corto para decir cuánto valió la pena; cuando mis ojos se inundan al pronunciar tu nombre o tu recuerdo me abruma en mis momentos reflexivos.
Deseando por un final alternativo, tratando de mantenerme en algo real, tu ya no estas. Jamás me perderás, si es lo que temes, por que el lazo siempre estará, entonces perderé el tiempo en una espera ingrata.
Y aquel raro diciembre donde toda esta odisea comenzó, no había otra opción, no lo pudimos resistir, y nunca me arrepentí. Y heme aquí repitiendo la misma canción para hablar de ti, para ya no volver a hacerlo, y despedirme como lo hice ayer: Buenas noches... pequeña, sabes que mi amor y cariño están contigo y que me mata saber que ya no será igual, parece que switch para ti sí funciono.
Y ya no he de citar los viejos tiempos, por que tanto como tu como yo, queremos dejar esto atras para jamás volver. Sin pretensiones ni malos tratos, la verdad ya todos la sabemos.
Por siempre veintinueve, te amo nena.
miércoles, diciembre 15
Insomia
Se despertó en su cama
y el sudor estaba por todos lados.
Tiesa como una tabla con los ojos desorbitados
con el sonido del ventilador girando.
y el sudor estaba por todos lados.
Tiesa como una tabla con los ojos desorbitados
con el sonido del ventilador girando.
lunes, noviembre 29
En Marte
Dime una historia,
cuentame cuantos y cuentos,
una vez más termina de ser, que esta noche no quiero ser, ni siquiera intentar.
Cuentame cuantas veces tengo que doblar mi cuello y curvar mi espalda,
sin mirar hacia abajo y una mirada más hacia arriba cuando todo da vueltas y la cabeza no vuelve hacia ti.
Salir de aquí, ir a donde nadie está, donde yo nomas te puedo encontrar.
Retoques y retimbres, timpanos y retumbes, donde las espirales giran alreves.
La verdad y la felicidad, cuentame otra vez, cómo llegas hacia ella.
Acordes y renombres que solian resonar en algún rincón donde te iba a buscar quedarse sonaba placiadamente mientras mi piel se enchinaba y el frío corría por cada una de mis vertebras, la vista se nublabla y yo nada más te quería tocar.
La nueva vida, la estola perdida y el revuelo que siente mi estomago por las mañanas cuando ya no estas junto a mi cama.
Las fantasías, sueños y habladurías, quedan en el pestañeo de aquella ves que sonreí mientras te observaba e imaginaba que la vida si era así de dulce y que los pajaros cantaban cuando sabían que te amaba.
Y sentir que flores quedaban a mi paso y la luz encandilaba más.
Jugar para no pensar, soñar para no imaginar, la somnolencia del creativo y la futura realidad que no vendra, porque hoy en día decidí dejar de establecer para comenzar a vivir y dejar vivir, cuando ya no estas y yo...
los sonidos se intensifican y las tensiones corren mas aprisa, los poros transpiran y aliento se agita.
Pense una vez más cuando nada ya quedaba, para solo llegar a donde ya estoy, que todo es mejor que tan solo una idea no basta para mantener un ideal, y la resignación se convierte en mi cantar.
cuentame cuantos y cuentos,
una vez más termina de ser, que esta noche no quiero ser, ni siquiera intentar.
Cuentame cuantas veces tengo que doblar mi cuello y curvar mi espalda,
sin mirar hacia abajo y una mirada más hacia arriba cuando todo da vueltas y la cabeza no vuelve hacia ti.
Salir de aquí, ir a donde nadie está, donde yo nomas te puedo encontrar.
Retoques y retimbres, timpanos y retumbes, donde las espirales giran alreves.
La verdad y la felicidad, cuentame otra vez, cómo llegas hacia ella.
Acordes y renombres que solian resonar en algún rincón donde te iba a buscar quedarse sonaba placiadamente mientras mi piel se enchinaba y el frío corría por cada una de mis vertebras, la vista se nublabla y yo nada más te quería tocar.
La nueva vida, la estola perdida y el revuelo que siente mi estomago por las mañanas cuando ya no estas junto a mi cama.
Las fantasías, sueños y habladurías, quedan en el pestañeo de aquella ves que sonreí mientras te observaba e imaginaba que la vida si era así de dulce y que los pajaros cantaban cuando sabían que te amaba.
Y sentir que flores quedaban a mi paso y la luz encandilaba más.
Jugar para no pensar, soñar para no imaginar, la somnolencia del creativo y la futura realidad que no vendra, porque hoy en día decidí dejar de establecer para comenzar a vivir y dejar vivir, cuando ya no estas y yo...
los sonidos se intensifican y las tensiones corren mas aprisa, los poros transpiran y aliento se agita.
Pense una vez más cuando nada ya quedaba, para solo llegar a donde ya estoy, que todo es mejor que tan solo una idea no basta para mantener un ideal, y la resignación se convierte en mi cantar.
lunes, noviembre 22
This and that
And I feel like I will never eat again,
the saddest part of me was wondering for this night.
I keep chocking and breathing is running and the dates are coming closer, and rushing days, the irrelevant events, the next step, the longer I take, the wider it has been and how much I wish I could stop.
How much, how many and other wonders...
The fake I am, the real I stay, how I started to lose the track of things! It's amazing how ever since, everything has turned your way. How are things seen from the common sense people, how they move in life and just for the hope of tomorrow. It's curious how I started to become regular, and the little part makes me special remains on my heart, like it that little part belong with you, or reminded of how amazing was the world when I looked at it with you by my side.
And the last days had been comfortable and easy, nothing like me, but it seems like the integration has called me to be part of a whole.
Looking for the adventure, but nothing was more exciting than the impossible made possible, someone to share it, someone to live it, to feel it.
Uncontrollable and noisy, the bed, the table, the sand, the sky, the view, the crowd, the throat... they are all anxy and all the sounds in my head, the thoughts that I'm dying to take and the impulses that I'm driven to give and the rules that I'm about to forget.
the saddest part of me was wondering for this night.
I keep chocking and breathing is running and the dates are coming closer, and rushing days, the irrelevant events, the next step, the longer I take, the wider it has been and how much I wish I could stop.
How much, how many and other wonders...
The fake I am, the real I stay, how I started to lose the track of things! It's amazing how ever since, everything has turned your way. How are things seen from the common sense people, how they move in life and just for the hope of tomorrow. It's curious how I started to become regular, and the little part makes me special remains on my heart, like it that little part belong with you, or reminded of how amazing was the world when I looked at it with you by my side.
And the last days had been comfortable and easy, nothing like me, but it seems like the integration has called me to be part of a whole.
Looking for the adventure, but nothing was more exciting than the impossible made possible, someone to share it, someone to live it, to feel it.
Uncontrollable and noisy, the bed, the table, the sand, the sky, the view, the crowd, the throat... they are all anxy and all the sounds in my head, the thoughts that I'm dying to take and the impulses that I'm driven to give and the rules that I'm about to forget.
lunes, noviembre 15
Pictures and covers
There was one time, that I can't recall; there was something that I could smell that made feel that I was being part of something, a place where I used to belong.
Word after word, there was something that I created; people was just a shadow or a vanished vision but still I couldn't see through.
Chocked and unable to swallow, it keeps obstructing my throat.
Then the fan made some air that reminded me of time... I repeat: I don't remember when it was!
She was running and I couldn't stop her. Splitting was one part of the time of change. I felt that I was someone else.
For the last few days I have been wondering who's the new me that has taken possession of my body; extremities, organs, bones and air... what keeps bothering on my throat?
Sometimes I feel that I want to vomit, but it not something on my stomach, it's something else dying to come out, but why does it has to be through my mouth?
Numbers and questions, the shorter breathings and the expanded doubt.
A missing part or a misunderstood side perhaps...
I haven't seen my shallow in a while, there's no reason to miss it, but it's always part of it.
This wasn't part of the deal, remember that night under the covers when I prayed to you.
My hands are still together but I think I lost my head, my devotion is spreaded away, the beautifulness is not under the spotlight, I guess it went to take a walk. Mean while my focus is vested all over the place, when I know I was made for just one night.
Word after word, there was something that I created; people was just a shadow or a vanished vision but still I couldn't see through.
Chocked and unable to swallow, it keeps obstructing my throat.
Then the fan made some air that reminded me of time... I repeat: I don't remember when it was!
She was running and I couldn't stop her. Splitting was one part of the time of change. I felt that I was someone else.
For the last few days I have been wondering who's the new me that has taken possession of my body; extremities, organs, bones and air... what keeps bothering on my throat?
Sometimes I feel that I want to vomit, but it not something on my stomach, it's something else dying to come out, but why does it has to be through my mouth?
Numbers and questions, the shorter breathings and the expanded doubt.
A missing part or a misunderstood side perhaps...
I haven't seen my shallow in a while, there's no reason to miss it, but it's always part of it.
This wasn't part of the deal, remember that night under the covers when I prayed to you.
My hands are still together but I think I lost my head, my devotion is spreaded away, the beautifulness is not under the spotlight, I guess it went to take a walk. Mean while my focus is vested all over the place, when I know I was made for just one night.
miércoles, noviembre 3
martes, noviembre 2
Come.
And so I thought, even the most beautiful story has to come to the end, but its the spirit what makes it immortal.
And so and so, let's pretend... there's nothing else to hold on, the beauty didn't come to meet the beast. The lovely story finishes another chapter; and all the muscles tense, autism becomes regular basis; and so and yeah... bad habits, good habits, and the ashes that the wind refuses to spread. And then I was ready, but you never were truly mine; all breaths that I took on your neck are suffocated. It's easy to be somewhere else, but you were always the target that my hypnotism decided to stare. But I agree and disagree... understandable, understandable, yes, when summer loving come to it's end, autumn must protest... and winter must come to feel the cold.
There's something great on you, something that makes you greater... and something that I love.
And so, and so, I wont know; I guess there's nothing more.
So, there's no place like home.
And so and so, let's pretend... there's nothing else to hold on, the beauty didn't come to meet the beast. The lovely story finishes another chapter; and all the muscles tense, autism becomes regular basis; and so and yeah... bad habits, good habits, and the ashes that the wind refuses to spread. And then I was ready, but you never were truly mine; all breaths that I took on your neck are suffocated. It's easy to be somewhere else, but you were always the target that my hypnotism decided to stare. But I agree and disagree... understandable, understandable, yes, when summer loving come to it's end, autumn must protest... and winter must come to feel the cold.
There's something great on you, something that makes you greater... and something that I love.
And so, and so, I wont know; I guess there's nothing more.
So, there's no place like home.
domingo, septiembre 5
Thoughts on my cereal.
What if I just realized about it?
An instant flew away to make me see what was going on around,
the sea up above us, and the water doesn't comes down
lights and storms looking delightfully through my eyes,
can't look down, I can't wait for me to run towards my faith,
myself exploding about all the feelings that I want to disperse.
And the storm seems to be on hold, awake and anxious, but waiting for the first drop to fall, and then release all of its power and crawl all below, and the strength might lost it's way, but still doesn't care, I just want to spread away... but the clouds move, the wind blows, the lightings bright the my mind and the thunder keeps me awake. Ever since, still the lovely sky takes me out to dance.
An instant flew away to make me see what was going on around,
the sea up above us, and the water doesn't comes down
lights and storms looking delightfully through my eyes,
can't look down, I can't wait for me to run towards my faith,
myself exploding about all the feelings that I want to disperse.
And the storm seems to be on hold, awake and anxious, but waiting for the first drop to fall, and then release all of its power and crawl all below, and the strength might lost it's way, but still doesn't care, I just want to spread away... but the clouds move, the wind blows, the lightings bright the my mind and the thunder keeps me awake. Ever since, still the lovely sky takes me out to dance.
viernes, agosto 13
Intenciones en cama.
Esta noche me he de declarar una persona adicta al sexo.
Podrá sonar de manera abrupta, pero no pienso dar explicaciones,
simplemente dejaré fluir lo que me llevó a tal dictamen:
Hemos de pasar mucho tiempo separadas,
casi casi una relación basada en palabras... y dicen que las palabras se las lleva el viento...
Pero no intento decir que nuestra relación es volátil amor,
me expresaré de manera más adecuada:
Todo ese tiempo que estoy sin tí, desearía poder estarlo, mas sin embargo se que es una condición difícil de cometer, aún así me aferro a tu recuerdo, que me da mas hambre de ti, asi que intento vagar por otros pasajes, ¡Vaya! No quiero atormentarme mientras se que te tengo.
Y camino y divago por esa senda que tan solo me mueve de un día a otro.
Pero tu no eres parte de eso, tu caminas comigo, yo te llevo conmigo, no te dejo al paso que doy, ni volteo hacia atrás para tener otra perspectiva para ver como se ve lo que antes aprecie de frente.
Constante en mi andar, a quien abrazo tan celosamente cuando se encuentra entre mis brazos,
a quien muero por comerme a besos, arrancar el olor de su tersa piel, y saciarme con su perfume, lo suave de sus cabellos cuando rozan mi cara y poder tomarla fuerte de su cintura y poder apretarla contra mi cuerpo al momento de sentir su respiración en mi cuello, aún cuando siento que toda mi superficie esta siendo tocada por ella, es como si quisiera poder convertirme en ella, poder llegar más alla de un abrazo físico, sentir más en un beso, poder entrar más ella mientras reposa en mi cama, poder arrebatar su aliento cuando expira fuertemente y así constantemente irla convirtiendo mia.
Lamento si evito una conversación y tan solo me interesa concentrarme en tu estado físico, es solo que he tenido tiempo de admirar la grandeza de tu pensar, el sentido de tu caminar, lo maravilloso de tu personalidad y lo hipnotizante de tus palabras; ahora tan solo quiero aprovechar el tiempo en tu regazo, amarte de la manera en que tanto anhelo, donde no falte ningún aspecto, y no exista el hambre sobre mi deseo.
Perdona si me pierdo, ¡Pero nunca pierdas la certeza de que siempre serás tú! Tus ojos preciosos a los que me encanta contemplar y la mirada en la que me gusta soñar, cuando nos encontramos en ese rato que nadie nos puede robar, en donde tu y yo nos podemos amar.
Podrá sonar de manera abrupta, pero no pienso dar explicaciones,
simplemente dejaré fluir lo que me llevó a tal dictamen:
Hemos de pasar mucho tiempo separadas,
casi casi una relación basada en palabras... y dicen que las palabras se las lleva el viento...
Pero no intento decir que nuestra relación es volátil amor,
me expresaré de manera más adecuada:
Todo ese tiempo que estoy sin tí, desearía poder estarlo, mas sin embargo se que es una condición difícil de cometer, aún así me aferro a tu recuerdo, que me da mas hambre de ti, asi que intento vagar por otros pasajes, ¡Vaya! No quiero atormentarme mientras se que te tengo.
Y camino y divago por esa senda que tan solo me mueve de un día a otro.
Pero tu no eres parte de eso, tu caminas comigo, yo te llevo conmigo, no te dejo al paso que doy, ni volteo hacia atrás para tener otra perspectiva para ver como se ve lo que antes aprecie de frente.
Constante en mi andar, a quien abrazo tan celosamente cuando se encuentra entre mis brazos,
a quien muero por comerme a besos, arrancar el olor de su tersa piel, y saciarme con su perfume, lo suave de sus cabellos cuando rozan mi cara y poder tomarla fuerte de su cintura y poder apretarla contra mi cuerpo al momento de sentir su respiración en mi cuello, aún cuando siento que toda mi superficie esta siendo tocada por ella, es como si quisiera poder convertirme en ella, poder llegar más alla de un abrazo físico, sentir más en un beso, poder entrar más ella mientras reposa en mi cama, poder arrebatar su aliento cuando expira fuertemente y así constantemente irla convirtiendo mia.
Lamento si evito una conversación y tan solo me interesa concentrarme en tu estado físico, es solo que he tenido tiempo de admirar la grandeza de tu pensar, el sentido de tu caminar, lo maravilloso de tu personalidad y lo hipnotizante de tus palabras; ahora tan solo quiero aprovechar el tiempo en tu regazo, amarte de la manera en que tanto anhelo, donde no falte ningún aspecto, y no exista el hambre sobre mi deseo.
Perdona si me pierdo, ¡Pero nunca pierdas la certeza de que siempre serás tú! Tus ojos preciosos a los que me encanta contemplar y la mirada en la que me gusta soñar, cuando nos encontramos en ese rato que nadie nos puede robar, en donde tu y yo nos podemos amar.
martes, julio 20
sábado, junio 5
Highlights on the table cloth.
-What is she made of?- The lovely Sophie asked to the wind, while her aunt was staring from behind.
She was petrified by the vision, she was trying to articulate but at her young age those things aren't known, so she was facing the unfamiliar, she didn't know how to react, what to do.
She never wondered what she was felling, she was just amazed and never realized that the image would never allow her to stare the rest of the world in the same way.
Her aunt was a middle age woman, who had been taking care of her nice the whole summer, and she was looking at her thoroughly behind her back. She had always thought she was particular girl, but she couldn't find a way to go along with her, they were so different, but at same time there was something in them that always dragged them together. Both loved sharing a cup of tea and orange cookies baked in the house oven.
They sit on their iron white chairs, white woolen gloves and bright dresses to stare around at the garden.
They didn't need to share a word, they had some sort of connection since they met.
[Incomplete].
She was petrified by the vision, she was trying to articulate but at her young age those things aren't known, so she was facing the unfamiliar, she didn't know how to react, what to do.
She never wondered what she was felling, she was just amazed and never realized that the image would never allow her to stare the rest of the world in the same way.
Her aunt was a middle age woman, who had been taking care of her nice the whole summer, and she was looking at her thoroughly behind her back. She had always thought she was particular girl, but she couldn't find a way to go along with her, they were so different, but at same time there was something in them that always dragged them together. Both loved sharing a cup of tea and orange cookies baked in the house oven.
They sit on their iron white chairs, white woolen gloves and bright dresses to stare around at the garden.
They didn't need to share a word, they had some sort of connection since they met.
[Incomplete].
lunes, mayo 31
Body touches.
When the lights went off in my head,
there's when desire started to wake...
A small movement of my hand went down,
and my fingertips brushed my abdominal skin,
going between my breasts until I reached my belly button,
going down, down, down...
I loved the way you carried me,
you hold me like a defenseless child,
a pretty girl that wants to be saved from what in her mind makes her cry.
A small lift: "You're not heavy".
I became the pink princess.
Too sparky, too lovely, too happy...
Going around and still my lips expecting to be touched,
but those things are never said.
Sh, sh... Wake up girl!
Twisted mind.
so again I'm between some arms,
...
when you don't think, you start to act.
Delicately and slowly, because when you move fast, the prey notices and is scared away.
At least is what they say.
The hair on my face,
my arms around your neck,
your intense breathing on my ears,
and my sleep resting on your shoulder.
Fantasies are an interesting matter,
How do you act when they are realized?
How's the move?
How's the touch?
When you are submerged in a world without speech,
you're only left with your senses,
how did we forgot that we posses them?
Expectation, emotion and adrenaline.
Have you ever taste?
How did your tongue answered?
Stop speaking with your mind,
soul or heart...
Let''s be reduce to our basics.
there's when desire started to wake...
A small movement of my hand went down,
and my fingertips brushed my abdominal skin,
going between my breasts until I reached my belly button,
going down, down, down...
I loved the way you carried me,
you hold me like a defenseless child,
a pretty girl that wants to be saved from what in her mind makes her cry.
A small lift: "You're not heavy".
I became the pink princess.
Too sparky, too lovely, too happy...
Going around and still my lips expecting to be touched,
but those things are never said.
Sh, sh... Wake up girl!
Twisted mind.
so again I'm between some arms,
...
when you don't think, you start to act.
Delicately and slowly, because when you move fast, the prey notices and is scared away.
At least is what they say.
The hair on my face,
my arms around your neck,
your intense breathing on my ears,
and my sleep resting on your shoulder.
Fantasies are an interesting matter,
How do you act when they are realized?
How's the move?
How's the touch?
When you are submerged in a world without speech,
you're only left with your senses,
how did we forgot that we posses them?
Expectation, emotion and adrenaline.
Have you ever taste?
How did your tongue answered?
Stop speaking with your mind,
soul or heart...
Let''s be reduce to our basics.
domingo, mayo 23
Let me hear a lasting beat.
The outer look, the staring from behind, a mutating disease, a lost love, a trembling walk, a rough science, heavy conscious, the hunter, the blessed child, my heart beating, all the things I've never done, all the things I said... what I said and what I didn't said, with all the pain, the revolt, the outer state of mind... you standing by, you're resting from all, you're leaving all.
You are, you are... you're absolutely everything, everything I love.
Jumpers and runners.
Y a pensar, yo no tuve... jamás...
Y los acordes pasan; las palabras y el rasgeo que llega a mis oídos y me punzan en el pecho.
Canto, canto... no, no.
Sin siquiera ver, ya no estoy, no más.
Situaciones intensas que no puedo desistir; permítame, disculpeme en mi explicar por que no me sé guiar, sólo sé que algo no anda bien; no sé esperar...
Todo lo que no pude.
El cosquilleo tibio en la nariz, trago amargo y mi cabeza se hunde más en el papel.
"Siempre soy lo claro entre los dos".
Te digo para recordar, suspiro para no sopesar.
Cuando la puerta se cerró a su espalda y ella no lo pudo notar.
lunes, abril 26
Expressions.
She was, I was, I stand, we are, I realize, I enjoy, I follow, I love.
Zip by zip, I'm here at the expectation.
There are so many things I can do, all those things that I move; the reason for me to be pleased at my reflection.
My daily doses... she said.
Well, I never thought of a person who can express as a drug to another person, but if I think about it, there's so many people that moves... takes and gives, feels and makes feel, makes go faster; speeding and looking at the lights in a turbo spin and the satisfaction of existence becomes present in body places that I can't identify.
I continue, because I can do it by myself, a self compact delusion...
[Incomplete].
sábado, abril 17
Which...
There's always something in me that says: I want to be with you forever.
When my head lays down and my eyes are closed.
It's when I'm in your arms and I feel that we can't be any closer,
but still I wish we could melt. Like if I could be in you.
I don't know the exact words.
I'm dazzled, I consider myself as an unstable creature.
Something to nothing.
But I can't do it alone. I am little bit sick.
I know I shouldn't, but humans can't control it all.
In my case: I have no control. It's bigger than me, goes out of my capacity.
It doesn't know how to be fully exposed.
I've submerge in you, looking up... staring from the under.
But I recall, you're just a human... the human of my adoration.
I know I'm letting myself go, got no shield, not sword, no helmet.
I got my arms open with my chest at the expectation.
But it's not because of you... I don't see a mutual.
It's just me in a battle field, we're not talking about trust or falling for each other,
It's me standing in the middle of nothing with all the things that can be directed pointing to you.
Morning thoughts I guess, a little psycho perhaps.
Because I don't know how I feel no more, as I once said... I think I'm going crazy!
It fell off of my hands and I don't see a way back.
I'm so sorry for making you play the game, I don't want you to miss the race.
I wish I could trust a little bit more but I feel like I'm no longer in the same field.
When my head lays down and my eyes are closed.
It's when I'm in your arms and I feel that we can't be any closer,
but still I wish we could melt. Like if I could be in you.
I don't know the exact words.
I'm dazzled, I consider myself as an unstable creature.
Something to nothing.
But I can't do it alone. I am little bit sick.
I know I shouldn't, but humans can't control it all.
In my case: I have no control. It's bigger than me, goes out of my capacity.
It doesn't know how to be fully exposed.
I've submerge in you, looking up... staring from the under.
But I recall, you're just a human... the human of my adoration.
I know I'm letting myself go, got no shield, not sword, no helmet.
I got my arms open with my chest at the expectation.
But it's not because of you... I don't see a mutual.
It's just me in a battle field, we're not talking about trust or falling for each other,
It's me standing in the middle of nothing with all the things that can be directed pointing to you.
Morning thoughts I guess, a little psycho perhaps.
Because I don't know how I feel no more, as I once said... I think I'm going crazy!
It fell off of my hands and I don't see a way back.
I'm so sorry for making you play the game, I don't want you to miss the race.
I wish I could trust a little bit more but I feel like I'm no longer in the same field.
Some times I feel like playing the doll,
wearing back the pink dress and the big bun.
Times when there was no time.
Spin and spin, walking and running...
I want to find that girl... tell her to run towards me.
jueves, marzo 11
Hugs for my basics.
There was somebody else tonight, with me... on my bedroom, in the same bed, in the clothes, in the same skin... but not the same mind.
I was thinking through someone else. I forgot who was me.
I realized I haven't fully smile in a while, when I supposed to be having the time of my life.
I had the challenge of the day, I had the random and special; the smile of the end when I closed my eyes for then to say: everything is worth it.
This is between you and me, being in the center of the graphic universe being the studied matter.
I got lost!
I'm sorry, I beg, to that couple that still expects to fill the desires of the little girl that once wanted a story for a good night... but she wants something else tonight: She worships her freedom more than anything else in the world.
She wants to be the girl that woke up everyday with the clear state of mind that moved her feet, and made her sing her own way.
It was heaven; the fully state of mind of being myself.
I'm still in love with that girl! I hope I can bring her back, because hell yeah, she knows what she wants.
I'm not talking about you baby, you're something else, but is not you the one that I need today.
miércoles, febrero 3
Blowers and viewers.
Let me get lost.
Go ahead with the wind and stay there, in my place, with myself.
I want to hold me, and try to have a little while in peace.
I don't need anybody! But it doesn't mean I don't want to.
Right now, I want to live for me.
I don't care about living in my mind, cause it's me the one that I end up at night.
When I'm alone, I look around and see, that I still have so much to know... I still don't know who's the girl that is dictating the words in my head... and the one that is typing.
Finding out.
Searching for the answer that you expect, but I realize that I haven't found which is the question. It's dysfunctional... maybe my head doesn't process.
Blocked.
It's me the one that I want to look in the mirror; it's me... and I don't want to hesitate.
The true is that I haven't looked at the mirror in a while.
If I insist with me, myself and I, why I find so hard to speak my mind in just one voice?.
And everyday, it feels to go very far, with the promise of the coffee for tomorrow.
And it's bittersweet; I haven't come clean with the reflection that it's pretending to be me.
jueves, enero 14
Kiss&tell.
It's true...
When we find something that explodes ourselves, it's easy to love it.
You're so right... and just like that.
I don't know... suddenly I started reacting with such nerves to let you go.
Who might tell? It takes so little.
So much interest, so much forgiven.
A link that bonds.
The world tells you, the game's over...
But there's another round served on the table.
Closing and opening... sounds like fun at the time.
An instant trip to the old times...
Now days, it seems so far.
miércoles, enero 6
Dreaming days.
They say that when we dream, we dream about our deepest fears, or most beloved wishes...
Oddly... last week, has been about my most desired wishes.
Everyday has been a new revelation of my unconscious mind...
sometimes its scary to see the truth about what my soul holds at night.
I wish I could have a word to speak, or the prime to say it is just a dream...
but it isn't. It's almost incredible how it follows you.
It's easy during daylight to forget 'what a sin is in the middle of a battlefield.'
But they chase you and come to you, because they want you... and I want them, it's just...I wont tell.
Believe me, there's no fresher morning air, just like a down breaking after an unforgettable kiss...
viernes, enero 1
Greetings to 2010.
Cause we aren't leaving behind, we are moving forward.
Sometimes we might don't understand why we move...
but we wouldn't grow if we stuck.
From the things that I left in the past, it was never on purpose,
but it doesn't mean I forgot, it means that you have already done what you were mean to.
I'm not leaving nothing behind, because everything stays with me; in my memory, in my heart.
Whatever I am now, I would't have get there without anything that surrounds me.
No matter what, we make our own path.
We choose what we want... at the time.
I'm choosing to look up, and walk my own way.
So let's pray to God, if anything goes wrong; find the way to improve it and the strength to face...
Let's learn to breath,
let's learn to leave,
to make dreams, and make them come true.
Cut our chains, and not stick.
Find inspiration on the simplest things,
because nothing will change... just the way we perceive.
Once we find this nirvana state, we can call ourselves free.
And we'll start to make the difference between the common and the amazing.
martes, diciembre 29
Randomly, I picked one.
Please don't say you don't remember,
I may recall a little... but basics I know.
Blurred vision... I can't stand.
While I was sitting... I fell on my back,
I hit my head, but you where there.
Came to me and asked me to talk...
I just said I'm sorry, and laid down there.
Don't know what happened next... but some lips touched mine.
And it wasn't just once... it was twice.
Don't know what it meant, but that's definitely not what I expected.
In my head, I asked: What the fuck?!
But my face stayed on blank.
I don't want to ask you about that... I wouldn't like any answer.
But just for you to know... and I thought you did, I don't like that!
I'm not like her and I do care.
Remember when I told you that I enjoyed your company because it was free of prejudices?
Well, my dear... It just became hard to call you dear.
Forever 17.
Goodbye to year of dreams coming true,
a year where almost everything could happened.
I did many, created a lot.
When everything seemed so easy and complicated at the time.
Me and a city, where my faith and I were my only possessions.
My favorite part: No regrets.
So there's no way that I can be more thankful with God,
Damn! I had a great time.
And everything get clearer.
Expanded mind and shorter words.
Hearts broken, large smiles, headaches and fights.
Absolutely everything was worth it.
And I think about it often, because I liked every single day.
My daily experience, new stories to tell... less personal feelings to say.
Freedom all it's way, courage on my veins.
Centered and focused, but not yet with feet on ground.
When there's so much left, makes me wonder: what's next?
So many things come to my mind... and I am ready.
So many things come to my mind... and I am ready.
Holding my-self, to not hesitate. Not eating the world in one bit.
But I feel like it's mine.
I'm not trying to sound superb, I'm just comfortable to say that I am who I am.
lunes, diciembre 14
sábado, diciembre 5
"Escribo, ella escribió, que la memoria es frágil y el transcurso de una vida es breve y sucede todo tan deprisa. que no alcanzamos a ver la relación entre los acontecimientos, no podemos medir la consecuencia de los actos, creemos en la ficción del tiempo, en el presente, el pasado y el futuro, pero puede ser también que todo ocurre simultáneamente, como decían las tres hermanas Mora". - Isabel Allende; La Casa De Los Espíritus.
miércoles, diciembre 2
Then I met you.
I was thinking,
you didn't interrupted me... it made me wonder why.
But I was busy,
I had a date... yes honey! and it was with you.
I was enjoying and letting myself go
with every minute passing by
I was swimming between every breath I took,
and you still didn't stopped me.
I was getting a comfort smile,
my body started to sink on the couch, and suddenly I became the couch.
my hair went away and danced with the wind,
and I laid down...
sparkles sprout out of my chest...
and I wasn't there.
The music crossed my ears but I didn't hear.
I was in peace; mind, body and soul... all together for once.
There's when I fell in love with me,
and wont do any "lovers" promises, because you are not my lover...
I don't want to... I just love you.
...and I'm thinking: I found myself on a hard way.
martes, noviembre 24
Dear enemy:
I feel that I can’t exist without you, I might hate you with all my heart but your still part of me, I’m proud when I beat you, and more of it because I did it, I don’t want anything or anyone else to bring you down, although I like to see you defeated, It feels so much better when I introduce my sword between your lungs, and you sing to me that melody of clemency for me to kill you and stop the torture. Well, for you, there’s never ending, you were made to suffer, and to be humiliated every time, with every sight and word. Please don’t die right now, because I need you, you are so evil and you don’t leave any kind of good on me, but I still need you. I can’t feel superior, I can’t fight, I can’t get forces against any… I just want you to exist. Let us have an eternal battle that would lead us into an eternal war were we would be destroying all of what we posses and love, our bodies won’t count anymore, who needs them? Those kinds of harms are weak, they don’t compare to the ones that are building and stored inside our souls; the ones that bring down at night, the ones that make you cry louder, when the tears burn, your fists are tightened harder, the teeth are pressed against each other and gives you submissive headaches, the ones that you can’t run away from, the ones that make company everywhere… everytime. There’s no medicine for them, no genetic cure, no steps ,no breaths; they got so buried inside, beneath every muscle, every bone, pores, hair follicles, skin chaps, and you start to love them, and wanting them… you would be nothing if you didn’t posses them, they are pure strength. I might sound terribly negative, but when you get to an extreme, it isn’t hard to twist all around, It’s so much that the heavy weight makes the balance spin upside down. Remember me when you are on your death hysteria, my arrogant ways and my dictator eyes, you’ll never find peace on them and hell yeah you will see them staring until the death of time, because what you can’t see on this world will follow in the next. You will never run away from me. I’ll never be sorry, the endless story. It’s my anger speaking. Because I lose a little bit of redemption every time that I listen your steps crossing the gothic hall.
Most of all, what makes you so perfect is that I can’t bring you down, and the truth about all this cataclysm: I admire you.
domingo, noviembre 8
This is my world, let me introduce...
I want to get this point clear:
I don't like you,
I don't wanna date you,
I don't wanna fuck you,
I don't wanna kiss you,
I don't wanna hug you,
I don't wanna love you,
I just want to know you.
Get through all the crap and see what's inside.
martes, noviembre 3
Suspended in the air.
I crossed myself this morning with this magazine.
Very interesting, with subjects that I might get familiar with.
I started to think... what's going on inside my head?
I tried to understand... then a face passed by my thoughts,
and I saw the situation.... then I shake my head and try to read again.
I focused on the point of the reading... to become a reader, not a protagonist.
Then somebody's idea interrupted my calmed feelings, and this time i tried to take a deep breath so I could keep on reading and maybe fix some pieces of whatever it is! ...but I couldn't, I choked.... I couldn't get air, I was fading away but remained conscious, I kept on my real way there wasn't a solution for me to get rid of....
Then I thought of you and I realized that theres any, any way... that I can't be this impulsive. Rubbing my eyes, pressing my face against my hands, I can't get the center.
I'm trying to text you away, So I don't puke! But the room becomes smaller, and the fan starts to spin slower... and I can't breath.
Makes me wonder if I'm just having this paranoid attack, but if I'm the paranoid who's gonna tell me...
I figure out: if I'm alone... Who am I talking with?
And I'm sick of being my own freaking psychologist, finding a reason, finding a solution or pattern for every reaction that I take... I can't get myself understand that, that isn't gonna make them less harmful.
Then I calm myself... some sort of bipolarity, I wish I could have that disease... at least if I am crazy... I wouldn't know... Who can ever convince a lunatic, that he's insane?
Give me, looking and digging for my dose of caffeine along with the incomparable mint&nicotine.
Sideout in a button, incredible things that you can learn from random labels.
Addict by 18.
Sudden moon threatening, on the highest spotlight to come out.And there's me and my eternal way to become the dessert.
martes, octubre 20
Sucumbir.
"Pensando en igual balanza el placer y la aflicción".
A dessert for every sin.
Que la conciencia no pese;
cada acto cometido reducido a un pequeño deleite.
Cause sometimes I need to ask.
I'm not closer...
Just like a puppet playing a fool,
reminds me that I'm little,
and I'm losing it because of your indifference.
Let's just don't.
Wow! I didn't realize... we are not playing.
I just want to call it off.
It's so uneasy.
Leve suspiro,
a lighter up.
I'm not looking around,
I just can look at you.
Sorry if I'm silent,
I'm just trying to fix the words inside my head,
most of all, figure out what's what I'm thinking.
I might adopt that manner,
just to brush your hair while you fall asleep,
but that's just not me.
I never learn how to be and not be... I never got the question.
As easy as choosing.
The only thing I know is...
who am I kidding? Just a coffee...
and if you go along with me,
I'll a make flirtation way to taste a sweeter conversation.
Whatever I guess...
I was thinking about you, and all the things that I wont say.
And the important highlight of the evening:
...I wish I could black out your goodbye kiss.
viernes, octubre 16
Banal courtesy.
When you stood up in there,
It was like watching you speak.
Trying to scream,
to make us understand,
a flawful idea swimming beneath an inner you.
Vertebras breaking and clacking,
scientific methods, and neurons trying to send messages that wont come out,
a little sparkle to chain.
Baby you don't have to worry,
cause I'm not talking about you... it's someone else,
the one that I haven't met.
Close your eyes for a moment
and dispel all of your thoughts and beliefs.
I don't pretend for you to separate from yourself,
it's a little portion of clarity to hold.
Try something new, something that you would be scared of, because that's a part that you haven't develop... and emotions and reactions would be like virgins in love.
Some sort of ectasis, as far as now; the state of being stretched beyond normal dimensions.
You got nothing to lose, and of course, you can say no... but what the hell, when are you gonna see me again?
It was like watching you speak.
Trying to scream,
to make us understand,
a flawful idea swimming beneath an inner you.
Vertebras breaking and clacking,
scientific methods, and neurons trying to send messages that wont come out,
a little sparkle to chain.
Baby you don't have to worry,
cause I'm not talking about you... it's someone else,
the one that I haven't met.
Close your eyes for a moment
and dispel all of your thoughts and beliefs.
I don't pretend for you to separate from yourself,
it's a little portion of clarity to hold.
Try something new, something that you would be scared of, because that's a part that you haven't develop... and emotions and reactions would be like virgins in love.
Some sort of ectasis, as far as now; the state of being stretched beyond normal dimensions.
You got nothing to lose, and of course, you can say no... but what the hell, when are you gonna see me again?
lunes, octubre 12
lunes, octubre 5
So am I insane or do I really see heaven in your eyes? - Amy W.
High speed
Stop whispering on my ears
I want to see it
feel it and read in your eyes.
I promise i will bring you down,
down in here.
you wont be that high
die with me
mortals in bed
Face each other...
Sweetie let me tell you very close.
I'm misbehaving and stepping on rough.
Just don't ignore it!
It's not above, neither beneath.
I didn't wanted it to change,
now it's doubtable and delicate.
Breakable.
Skinny touch.
Revolution; cause it shouldn't.
I wonder: is there a fault?
How could it be...?
You gotta be kidding.
Imploded version.
I wasn't up to give up.
Different times, large scale.
I don't believe in maybes.
For the first time,
I'm... I can't stop denying, I do not regret,
it was beautiful when we still haven't met.
You existed long ago,
I arrived before, without noticing.
It's not that bad...
It just means.
Nena, no tienes idea.
Te conviertes y regresas.
Aún no lo se.
Tiempo se deliza... y lo pierdo.
Solo quiero un ti.
un poco, no mucho.
Sacia, termina... que se siente volátil.
domingo, septiembre 27
Fixing.
Some stories should never be told,
Blue...
Because if I'm not gonna see tomorrow,
I gotta say that I loved today.
Maybe it's true, but how am I suppose to know?
Never saw,
just felt...
It was nice... hard to tell.
taking it all... because I want it all!
Repeating, more than heaven.
Floating high above...
Creatures taken under the bed,
Overwhelmed.
Freaked out? I'm staring on blank.
Bad timing... even for me.
So much, tempted to not resist.
Desirable and lovable.
What's wrong about a second time? I heard.
I might wait... but what can I say...
I do; you are just... unreachable...
at least that's what I thought.
Surprised, my littleness flourishing.
Burying... trying to go back; back in a time where you didn't insist... I meant existed.
Unstable, did I choose?
Yes, and pleasure was so rejoicing, that I started to think it might be sinful.
Unbelievable again.
But I hope; forgive me for it...
Call when your touch becomes legal.
If you please, I wont promise, but I know I wont say no.
jueves, septiembre 24
martes, septiembre 22
Amable.
Living on my sweet dreamland,
I don't mind.
What you are,
and you represent so much.
You are cause.
Now you are a reason.
Blown,
windy,
fresh morning,
so interested that i can't look around
It's you... you, tender.
Hermosamente definida,
cada línea,
cada movimiento.
Orgullosamente tu.
Sencillamente, viviendo.
Respirando.
Tan temerosa, precavida a la vez.
No eres imperceptible,
sensorialmente visible.
Eres... solamente lo eres.
Anhelos, fragiles... tibios.
lunes, septiembre 14
Nils Carlsson.
I don´t wanna lie, I can´t tell the truth, it's over.
Immortal words, resounding in my head.
Well, i can´t spell it out,
it such an impossible situation.
So much to feel,
quite a few moments.
You´re there, reading at every word,
and even though, I know you understand the meaning of every single phrase,
you want to hear it.
I don´t want to say it,
I hate dreams coming true,
they end with everything,
there's no imagination left,
there's no sparkle,
no innocence,
no naivety.
Honestly, you are more than what you think you are,
your freshness it´s what I love the most,
i love your way... and all the outline.
I love your representation of simplicity.
And the way that I am freaking out in this moment.
So littlle, so significative.
Because I don´t wanna get to mature!
Means freedom all the way!
And... also for you.
Im sorry, but i can´t control this.
I just can ignore it, along with all around.
But why it has to so bad?
Isn´t it a daily story?
For me, the story of my life.
Oh yeah, I forgot the little omnipresent detail.
Her.
But it gets easy with time,
I promise this, I'll turn it, if you want to give me the space.
You're so important! That I don't know how you get there.
I miss you.
And you are not that special.
I just like you.
sábado, septiembre 12
You said blank.
Hoy y mañana,
tardaste.
Y te quiero ver.
Lo siento, tu y nomás tu.
Déjame.
¿Porqué jugar con tanta gracia?
Piensas, no piensas,
trato y contengo...
Ganas tengo de avalanzarme hacia ti.
Tomarte, arañarte y dejarte vacío.
No es conmigo, repito.
Tomar, dejar.
De nuevo, tu.
Pero cariño, no puedes negar lo bien que nuestros cuerpos encajan,
nuestras mentes divagan.
Permíteme, adentro y más adentro,
ha sido hasta donde tu has querido.
No otra vez,
simplemente voltear mi cabeza,
avanzar, no importar, no querer y no sentir.
¿Qué tan lejos? o ¿Qué tan cerca?
Hablame, dime, cuentame... informame.
Baila conmigo, solo como pretexto.
¿Piensas en ella?
Yo no.
Dime solo un poco.
Prometo... prometo...
Miento.
Dirigeme tu cuerpo,
direccionalo,
estremecete al ritmo mio,
Sígueme, anda.
No pares en este momento,
porque ¡Dios! Qué bien se siente.
¿Placer? Solo pídelo.
Te lo dare, vorázmente.
No te arrepentirás, satisfacción garantizada.
Tuyo, mi cuerpo. Solo pídelo.
¿Cariño? El más dulce que existe,
agrio para no empalgar.
Volar,
y regresar para que te des cuenta que es real
que no pierdas el piso.
Dejame quererte, y lo obtendrás en conjunto...
Despacio, más despacio...
te hablare oído.
y hare que entres en ese trance dormido...
donde todo se discipa y flota.
Yo puedo, creeme.
Solo quiero saber de qué se trata.
Sincero y honesto.
No te canses ahora,
disfruta de mi,
conmigo.
Como lo hago de ti.
domingo, septiembre 6
Long... longer.
You say,
I say...
maybe tomorrow,
but no.
Promises? Not again, please!
Believe me, i'm not lying.
But i took so much time to realize,
but now i'm into you,
sorry for taking longer than I should,
... you are not,
and didn't... at least not with me.
And im so anxious!
maybe, maybe...
it's not a permision,
it's just pleasure.
Blow my head,
im there, close...
don't look around, look at me!
Let me warm you
and make you smile all day long.
I say...
maybe tomorrow,
but no.
Promises? Not again, please!
Believe me, i'm not lying.
But i took so much time to realize,
but now i'm into you,
sorry for taking longer than I should,
... you are not,
and didn't... at least not with me.
And im so anxious!
maybe, maybe...
it's not a permision,
it's just pleasure.
Blow my head,
im there, close...
don't look around, look at me!
Let me warm you
and make you smile all day long.
martes, septiembre 1
Good morning... yeah, whoever you are.
Where it supposed to be,
when it changed, whatever you can say...
speaking some...
but i stopped listening,
tell me all about it,
got the constant question,
but i wish i knew which is it...
keeping myself in wonder,
my new caffeine this morning,
im not spinning...
you don't have me spinning,
stiff.
Not juicy, not even close... tasting bitter.
Trapped? Don't know what you're saying.
Where's my little doll?
Am I just feeling the heat?
Dear; dearest... maybe too rushy.
Hey! i can't give you the blame.
I wanna hold it for me.
Something for me to think often.
Sounds in a wider space.
Mine.
But.
Sudden eyes waving up and down.
The street called me to step on it...
and not to walk by the side...
she wants my feet touching its ground.
even though they are too sloppy to hear 'em
when i marched my raisising race...
but no toward.
Pretty and beautiful... constants that i can't keep on my speech.
so omnipresent - taking the given blur.
and the story that you told me every night
before i went to bed...
i wanted to sleep, your voice on my ears.
It's a loving not there... just for the ride to my rutine.
Thanks... cause i love that i can keep a thank you smile...
when all the words are still stored on my head.
martes, agosto 25
I would know, with my eyes closed.
A moment ago, i had a picture on my head of you and I.
Now its literally infront of my sight,
and it is so damn georgeous!
we supose to be together, right?
is not that my conscious wants it... it just feels like it.
It takes me back, to wonderful times.
what else do you want?
It's there... avoiding it, casually discreet.
Tighten and profound.
so private, so intimate, so jealous... so us.
Words are trapped, can think straight again!
don't know how to pretend... don't know what to say.
Why are we so weak to the truth?
We supose to have it by forecast...
it's you with your face against mine.
It's something that just can't be ignored.
...those are your lips touching, brushing,
with softness and caress... mine.
Those are my lips trying to say that I love you.
Who would know?
It dragged me down,
with my head in my toes.
my dried throat, soring.
I shall... end this.
we weren't ready.
I wasn't.
It suposed to be foward,
never look back.
...im sorry, im just so sorry!
my body it's heating from insideout.
baby you aren't there!
...and i want to get rid of,
i want to disappear it,
but so you are so alive and present.
And the voice screming inside my head:
LET IT GO!.
Let's fuck this shit!.
domingo, agosto 23
Blacking out.
Blurred maybe...
falling perhaps,
trying to keep straight...
but everything was moving so fast!
But it was so right, now i just can't leave the idea, it follows me...
No prejudice, drama or things to hide... nothing seems to be wrong.
and i wonder if its just the way you are, or im having utopian and orgasmic thoughts.
I promised my self i wouldnt screw it up again, but it is so tempting.
You looked so good, so relaxed, cute and casual; hard to resist.
Don't blame me, please! I just like the way you make me fall asleep.
And im thinking.... im just being a girl or i confused myself with my instincts.
I don't mind... you were, for a moment, what i wanted.
Just a person that came in, in the right time, moment and place.
I want to know you stranger... you captured me.
martes, agosto 18
Because I think it's beautiful.
Because tonight i don't feel sorrow,
because i've been thinking about you,
because i just saw the day lighting me up,
because i smiled to you, when you walked away from me this afternoon,
because i am feeling free,
no press upon my chest,
with words to spell;
because i am breathing profusely,
because im gonna sit right next you, and i'm going to stay,
because i'm fine and you are fine.
Because today i didn't get mad,
i laughed with joy,
i saw you with tenderness,
nothing seems the same;
because i needed to cry,
i needed to crawl groundly, so i could rise up...
Because it's changed,
because we chose,
because i don't regret,
because im feeling good...
For all the things i learned
all i felt, all i did, all i refuse, defeat, and earned.
Because im grateful,
nothing is new, nothing's old...
just different.
And all things that i feel today
and all i want to preserve
you on my memory
my dark secret, side and story.
because you're there,
and you came to stay...
maybe you wont sit next to me...
but you wont get that far
because its so much more than that,
because its deeper,
because i still don't understand,
because im a girl,
because... just cause...
Because i think your beautiful.
jueves, agosto 13
It's been a long time.
Wow! It's been a year since I haven't write a thing, and im not talking here, even on paper!
I have to say that tons of things may happen in a year.
Some of them can be amazingly great and some others devastating; fortunately for me, the greatest won.
Yes! A lot of pain, but it doesn't compare with the time that I couldn´t stop smiling when i walked through the street or wherever I went.
I was scared, you know... but everything was worth it... every single fight with my mom, every tear, every word, sight and rumor... because I was happy.
It was the a holly sin for me.
Unfourtately, it´s over! And it happened in the worse way it could!
Anyway, my heart was so damn broken, and I was devastated as hell; but I think it´s so much more than that, because, we weren´t just a couple in love... it was deeper, I can´t even put a name to what we were, I just know that whenever I hold to my deepest and prettiest memory, I know that there's where I belong; it has buried on me... it feels home.
I can´t have you now, and I don´t think we´ll get it again. We're so ok... everything´s fine, for now. You can find me later.
Love, greetings(:
viernes, abril 18
Differences and Similarities
When you watch a comedy on television, there's always as purpose to make people laugh and entertain them, but now, there are several differences between the 90's shows and the ones of now days. For example, from the 90's show and the ones of now days. For example, from the 90's: Seinfeld and from now days: Two and a half men.
There are several differences between this two television shows, one of then could be: there's no woman as protagonist, in Two and half men there's just the life of 3 men, and in Seinfeld, there's a woman involved, there are the tow guys and the girl.
Also Seinfeld was a little bit more conservative, because it didn't involve that much explicit sex, as it did in Two and half men, that it is what it's all about.
And the most obvious, the outfits are older and vintage in Seinfeld than in Two and half men.
But focusing on the similarities: we can see that the protagonist are two men in both shows. and we can see that the conflicts are pretty much ironic.
Both are cool shows, and we can see that television its coming more and more without censure, but, they still entertain to the public.
There are several differences between this two television shows, one of then could be: there's no woman as protagonist, in Two and half men there's just the life of 3 men, and in Seinfeld, there's a woman involved, there are the tow guys and the girl.
Also Seinfeld was a little bit more conservative, because it didn't involve that much explicit sex, as it did in Two and half men, that it is what it's all about.
And the most obvious, the outfits are older and vintage in Seinfeld than in Two and half men.
But focusing on the similarities: we can see that the protagonist are two men in both shows. and we can see that the conflicts are pretty much ironic.
Both are cool shows, and we can see that television its coming more and more without censure, but, they still entertain to the public.
domingo, abril 6
Places where to watch movies
There are many places where to watch movies, but there are three main places where to watch them: Your house or a friend's house, at school in your classroom or in at school in a movie club, and at the movie theater.
All of those places are pretty much appropiate to watch movies, but it depends very much in the mood that you are in that moment, because those three places are very different and it implies sort of specific behavior .
If we are talking about watching a movie at your home, or in a friend's house, its the best option for me, because there you can do whatever yo want and if you are with friends, you enjoy better the movie, but of course it depends what kind of movie it is, because as everyone knows, not all the movies are for watching them with friends, sometimes it for watching them alone.
But going back to the friends thing, you enjoy better the movie because you laugh together and not alone, and if you're scared because of a horror movie, there's always a friend beside you to make fun of you or to tell you that it's just a movie.
And the fact of watching the movie at you're home, implies free food, and also you can stop the movie to do whatever you want and then come back and keep watching the movie, or go back and watch a part that you like, or just stop it and watch it some day else.
And an important fact it's that you are going to be comfortable and sit or lay wherever you want.
At school, the thing turns to be a lot more different because if you're watching the movie in you're classroom, you are at the spot of the teachers eye, and it's pretty uncomfortable if you can't laugh if it's a serious movie and stuff.
Also you have to pay attention because maybe they're gonna let you a homework about it; and if you want to go to the restroom, maybe you miss an important part of the movie, and of course that they aren't going to stop the movie and wait for you to come back.
Watching movies at the teather it's a cool thing because you watch the movies in a large screen, and a cool sound, and you pay attention to it. Of course if you go with friends, you don't pay that much attention to it, but you always do, because as you already know, there's not much else to watch.
The bad thing is that you have to sit in a straight line and you're friends keep far from you.
Also the cost for getting into the movies it's pretty expensive, and also if you want to buy snaks the food from the theatre its expensive too. Then if you want to go to the restroom, you miss part of the movie and stuff.
And if you're making that much scandal, the staff from the theater can ask you to leave the room.
So the, for me the best option to where watch movies, it's you're home or a friends house, because, it's more comfortable and have more fun.
All of those places are pretty much appropiate to watch movies, but it depends very much in the mood that you are in that moment, because those three places are very different and it implies sort of specific behavior .
If we are talking about watching a movie at your home, or in a friend's house, its the best option for me, because there you can do whatever yo want and if you are with friends, you enjoy better the movie, but of course it depends what kind of movie it is, because as everyone knows, not all the movies are for watching them with friends, sometimes it for watching them alone.
But going back to the friends thing, you enjoy better the movie because you laugh together and not alone, and if you're scared because of a horror movie, there's always a friend beside you to make fun of you or to tell you that it's just a movie.
And the fact of watching the movie at you're home, implies free food, and also you can stop the movie to do whatever you want and then come back and keep watching the movie, or go back and watch a part that you like, or just stop it and watch it some day else.
And an important fact it's that you are going to be comfortable and sit or lay wherever you want.
At school, the thing turns to be a lot more different because if you're watching the movie in you're classroom, you are at the spot of the teachers eye, and it's pretty uncomfortable if you can't laugh if it's a serious movie and stuff.
Also you have to pay attention because maybe they're gonna let you a homework about it; and if you want to go to the restroom, maybe you miss an important part of the movie, and of course that they aren't going to stop the movie and wait for you to come back.
Watching movies at the teather it's a cool thing because you watch the movies in a large screen, and a cool sound, and you pay attention to it. Of course if you go with friends, you don't pay that much attention to it, but you always do, because as you already know, there's not much else to watch.
The bad thing is that you have to sit in a straight line and you're friends keep far from you.
Also the cost for getting into the movies it's pretty expensive, and also if you want to buy snaks the food from the theatre its expensive too. Then if you want to go to the restroom, you miss part of the movie and stuff.
And if you're making that much scandal, the staff from the theater can ask you to leave the room.
So the, for me the best option to where watch movies, it's you're home or a friends house, because, it's more comfortable and have more fun.
lunes, marzo 31
How to get a job
When you are looking for a job, there are several aspects that you have to think about before you get one.
One of the first aspects that you have to think is what would you like to do, and if you're going to enjoy what you're doing because you'll spend several hours doing it, and of course it has to be something that you like to be worth it.
Then you have to think about the time that you are going to spend at work, because if you're at school, you have to balance your time between work and school, and if you don't have enough, you always must prefer stay in school.
There's also the location, because it has to be more less near your home or places that you visit frequently so it is easier to get there.
When you have already decided where do you want to work, you got to fill your resume and deliver it at the place were you chose.
If you have a call back, you got to show your-self very enthusiastic and positive to make a good impression. Also there's the clothing that you know that you have to be presentable and good looking.
At last, but not least you have to see if the payment is worth it, because as you are expending time at work, it has be worth it, it doesn't matter how much you need the money if it's not enough for the time or the work you will do.
if everything is good, then you only have to wait until the manager tells you that you start on monday:)
One of the first aspects that you have to think is what would you like to do, and if you're going to enjoy what you're doing because you'll spend several hours doing it, and of course it has to be something that you like to be worth it.
Then you have to think about the time that you are going to spend at work, because if you're at school, you have to balance your time between work and school, and if you don't have enough, you always must prefer stay in school.
There's also the location, because it has to be more less near your home or places that you visit frequently so it is easier to get there.
When you have already decided where do you want to work, you got to fill your resume and deliver it at the place were you chose.
If you have a call back, you got to show your-self very enthusiastic and positive to make a good impression. Also there's the clothing that you know that you have to be presentable and good looking.
At last, but not least you have to see if the payment is worth it, because as you are expending time at work, it has be worth it, it doesn't matter how much you need the money if it's not enough for the time or the work you will do.
if everything is good, then you only have to wait until the manager tells you that you start on monday:)
miércoles, marzo 5
So...
If you ask me how I feel, I wont know what to answer; things seem go by, mi mind seems so neutral, the air dries my lips, the sun heats my skin; all the inner peace that I wanted to feel, has to sit again and wait... just wait.
I feel tired, with no words to spell, no wishes to wonder, no smile in my soul, and I ask to myself, am I good? am I fine? It's this ok? And if it is, why I am not feeling like it? And just wait... wait.
And I swallow the oppressive and sour question, and I keep thinking, with my hands almost exploiting, my vains blowing, the constant grind of my teeth against each other.
The darkness of the dawn covers me, so then I close my eyes and I say: I want this; and I scream to the top of my lungs, with all the anger and frustration that I posses and I start to scratch my arms, because I want to have human moments, and I just can't feel no pain, and I wait.... wait for tomorrow, a beautiful sunshine that will make me smile, a cold breeze that it's gonna make my skin got tickles, a pure air that I'm gonna breath and it will bring peace to my heart, a beautiful scene that my eyes would be delightful to contemplate, with no disturbance around, no penetrating nails attached to my body, no burning tears rolling down my cheeks, no more pain, no more broken hearts, and my arms will be extended to hold and never leave all that joy that I been waiting for; and I realize... I realize, that tomorrow, it's not today... and I wait... wait.
I feel tired, with no words to spell, no wishes to wonder, no smile in my soul, and I ask to myself, am I good? am I fine? It's this ok? And if it is, why I am not feeling like it? And just wait... wait.
And I swallow the oppressive and sour question, and I keep thinking, with my hands almost exploiting, my vains blowing, the constant grind of my teeth against each other.
The darkness of the dawn covers me, so then I close my eyes and I say: I want this; and I scream to the top of my lungs, with all the anger and frustration that I posses and I start to scratch my arms, because I want to have human moments, and I just can't feel no pain, and I wait.... wait for tomorrow, a beautiful sunshine that will make me smile, a cold breeze that it's gonna make my skin got tickles, a pure air that I'm gonna breath and it will bring peace to my heart, a beautiful scene that my eyes would be delightful to contemplate, with no disturbance around, no penetrating nails attached to my body, no burning tears rolling down my cheeks, no more pain, no more broken hearts, and my arms will be extended to hold and never leave all that joy that I been waiting for; and I realize... I realize, that tomorrow, it's not today... and I wait... wait.
sábado, marzo 1
Horchata:)
ANDY COME OUT OF THE TRUNK
Well, yesterday was very tired, we spent the whole day out of my house because of the congress and that wasn't everything at all, because when it was the long break some friends and I (the voleyball team) had to go together and eat at Mayte's and then at 2:00 go to UVM to play a game, that of course we won:) and then come back to the theater for Yordi's performance and we didn't change of clothes beacuse it was already late and I stayed with the little short 8-). Anyway, I have to say that Yordi's performance wasn't just has I imagine, because he talked about things that I wasn't actually into... however! If you're asking why I have this picture its because of a private joke that was made on Javier Lara's perfomance, when he was talking about a kid named Andy that died of cancer and... there was one time when he said... "and inside of that trunk..." and then he made a pause, and in that pause, Cesar said..."is Andy..." and everything was so emotional and when Cesar said that I could stop laughing! and it continued until the night and now... x)
HORCHATA=|
jueves, febrero 21
The nigga's paw
Well right now I am at Fernando's house doing our Literature project, that is a video about a story that is in our Literature book, that it about a guy who has a monkeys paw that gives 3 wishes for the one who posses the paw... and I don't know what happens next, I haven't finish the story, i guess that I actually I don't care!
Actually at this point I don't care anything, because... I got 90 on chemistry! Yeah:)
I'm so proud od myself... but that it's just something else.
Well now, I just came back from the park that it's just across the street, because I got tired of the mood in here, everyone was getting along with Alan's mood, that was totally unpleasant and I just couldn't take it! So I just got out and sat and eat cookies!
Now I'm here now writting this with a glass of milk, and a cookie on my mouth and... behind me is Alan with Itzel writting the play, and the other guys tell me to don't interrupt his inspiration! but I mean... agh! I'd better don't write it... but again i hold my words, have a deep breath and try to relax... at the end it's just a homework.
Actually at this point I don't care anything, because... I got 90 on chemistry! Yeah:)
I'm so proud od myself... but that it's just something else.
Well now, I just came back from the park that it's just across the street, because I got tired of the mood in here, everyone was getting along with Alan's mood, that was totally unpleasant and I just couldn't take it! So I just got out and sat and eat cookies!
Now I'm here now writting this with a glass of milk, and a cookie on my mouth and... behind me is Alan with Itzel writting the play, and the other guys tell me to don't interrupt his inspiration! but I mean... agh! I'd better don't write it... but again i hold my words, have a deep breath and try to relax... at the end it's just a homework.
viernes, febrero 15
Valentine's
I used to think that Valentine's was a waste of time and that almost all the people waste his money on silly things; and that day used to get my self-stem really go so down! and watching all those couples hugging and kissing made me feel like i hate this day, why I'm not enjoying it? I mean I have my friends and stuff but I don't know I used to feel like I actually have to give something to them.
So... this year i decided to don't fall in consumerism and I chose to not give any gift to anybody, except for 4 friends, and i gave them some marshmallows lollipops i kind of, so i agreed with friend to give us to each other a gift with the value of $20.00 so that's what the lollipops cost, so i thought, every thing is fine!
When i arrived to the school i gave my lollipops to the respective person and we ex-changed presents. The person with who i had the agreed, at first gave me a simple lollipop, and i thought, COOL!
Then i got a big balloon, then, another one, then another one, then a rose, then a box with a cuddly and a "message in bottle" it was so damn cute<3.
She maid my day! not only for the presents but also because she tried to change the way I thought about that day, I used to think that Valentine's sucks, and everybody was corny and stuff and I hate corny stuff i think they are so... cloying, but she wasn't actually wasn't and she made me feel bad because i only gave her a marshmallow lollipop!
Anyway... valentine's isn't that bad, uh?
So... this year i decided to don't fall in consumerism and I chose to not give any gift to anybody, except for 4 friends, and i gave them some marshmallows lollipops i kind of, so i agreed with friend to give us to each other a gift with the value of $20.00 so that's what the lollipops cost, so i thought, every thing is fine!
When i arrived to the school i gave my lollipops to the respective person and we ex-changed presents. The person with who i had the agreed, at first gave me a simple lollipop, and i thought, COOL!
Then i got a big balloon, then, another one, then another one, then a rose, then a box with a cuddly and a "message in bottle" it was so damn cute<3.
She maid my day! not only for the presents but also because she tried to change the way I thought about that day, I used to think that Valentine's sucks, and everybody was corny and stuff and I hate corny stuff i think they are so... cloying, but she wasn't actually wasn't and she made me feel bad because i only gave her a marshmallow lollipop!
Anyway... valentine's isn't that bad, uh?
miércoles, febrero 6
mmm..
Well, i have to say that i don't have that much things to say on these days, i've been pretty busy with my thoughts and stuff... i think it's been some kind of messy i guess my life lately, and what can i say? i don't want to bother the world with my issues and stuff, and i feel like i am a closed book for everybody and instead of relaxing my mind, and i don't know try to don't think about it, it comes to me all day long, and i keep them to my self and i stay like that, sometimes i feel like I want to scream so bad, but i can't find the courage to do it; i have so many thing to give but i realize that i live in my house of self protection where i am affraid of taking chances and i try to keep evrything safe and controlable! and i think I'm so fucked up! because maybe i'm losing the greatest thing ever happened and i just refuse to face it and again i stay to my self on my own security and where thing are close to me, easy, and my fears i just throw them away to face them ever....
"i'm just a fucked up girl, looking for my own peace of mind"
"i'm just a fucked up girl, looking for my own peace of mind"
miércoles, enero 23
The Dark Ages
A few weeks ago, I read in a magazine an article that called my atention right away, not only because of it's title "The Dark Ages"; what I was reading started to seem pretty familiar with my social surroundings so I continued...
The article was talking about how depressed teenagers has become a "fashion" in today's world, it has become a life style, now it's more easy to find some who has "issues" and stuff and you can see almost everybody complaining about their own problems and how everyone wants to be listened, and that's why there's no body to listen!
Now days everyone goes to the therapist, and you can hear everywhere: "my therapist said..." and it's a concern in therapist that people who's actually has problems is not attendig them...
There's so many people who started to dress up like emo guys just to fit in, and i think that extremely ridiculous, you are just who you are... it's a shame that people change for those kind of reasons.
The emo community has been a quite sensation in tv shows and stuff, just like degrassi, movies and even artist that involve that fact of using drugs and mutilating themselves and that's even more ridiculous!...
I think life is too short to be wasted...
The article was talking about how depressed teenagers has become a "fashion" in today's world, it has become a life style, now it's more easy to find some who has "issues" and stuff and you can see almost everybody complaining about their own problems and how everyone wants to be listened, and that's why there's no body to listen!
Now days everyone goes to the therapist, and you can hear everywhere: "my therapist said..." and it's a concern in therapist that people who's actually has problems is not attendig them...
There's so many people who started to dress up like emo guys just to fit in, and i think that extremely ridiculous, you are just who you are... it's a shame that people change for those kind of reasons.
The emo community has been a quite sensation in tv shows and stuff, just like degrassi, movies and even artist that involve that fact of using drugs and mutilating themselves and that's even more ridiculous!...
I think life is too short to be wasted...
martes, enero 15
NY 77
Recently, I saw on VH1 a tv special about New York in 1977, where people considered New York a very dangerous place to live, because there was "to much" freedom for sex, drugs and rock n' roll.
There was a lot of night clubs, very famous until now, although te are no longer exist, but they leave their mark on history.
For me, the most interesting night club was the CBGB's because there's where some very famous bands played there, but at that time they weren't famous at all, like The Ramones & Blondie (those are the ones that I remember) it would be really cool to have had the opportunity to listen to those bands in their very begining.
And we can't forget about Studio 54, that is the one that everybody knows, but, I don't like that much that club, because for the things that I've heard it was pretty nasty and there was "concentrated" what was all ready on NY streets.
Also when the hip hop started on the ghetto and how they played the music, at highest they could. I think that's pretty cool too.
I 'd like at the ending of the show, how the commentarist said that now NY is a secure place to live for the families and stuff, but they are not agree with that (in a certain way i'm either) because night life of New York was what makes interesting that city, it was like art... and now it has lose it, well of course that it has night clubs, and people crazy around but it is not like it was on 77, so i think it loses his is appeal; and has everybody knows it is now a commercial city.
Anyway, I think it would be cool to visit New York and walk around the streets that once were the place to be... ;)
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